Duncan Grant and Paul Roche: A Lifelong Bond Beyond Labels

The 30-Year Bond

In a deeply personal essay published by The Guardian, writer Mitey Roche explores the profound, unconventional relationship between her father, poet Paul Roche, and the celebrated painter Duncan Grant, a central figure of the Bloomsbury group.

Duncan Grant died in 1978 at the age of 93 in the family’s home in Aldermaston, Berkshire. His death marked the end of a 32-year devotion that began in July 1946, when the two men literally bumped into each other while trying to cross Piccadilly Circus in London.

At their fateful first meeting, Paul Roche—born Donald Robert Paul Roche—was a Roman Catholic priest living a double life. Tormented by the restrictions of a sexless vocation, he wore a sailor’s outfit ordered from a catalogue in his spare time.

From the Priesthood to Poetry

Prompted by Grant’s mentorship, Roche eventually abandoned the priesthood. He became a prolific writer, poet, and acclaimed translator of Greek plays by Euripides, Sophocles, and Aeschylus. Yet despite decades of speculation regarding their partnership, Roche maintained that their bond was entirely non-sexual.

As much as I loved him, I did not have any sexual feelings for him and we certainly never did the deed. Duncan. He

Mitey Roche notes that her father served as both Grant’s muse and his student. In return, Grant provided the artistic presence and inspiration that shaped Roche’s life and environment.

Life Alongside the Bloomsbury Circle

Despite his commitment to Grant, Paul Roche married Clarissa Tanner, an American he met in Paris, and fathered five children. The domestic reality of the Roche household incorporated Grant as an adopted grandfather figure, particularly during holidays.

The Guardian essay details how Grant spent Christmases with the family, calming household disputes and serving as an inspirational artistic presence. Mitey Roche, along with her siblings Pandora and Toby, eventually attended art school after observing Grant paint every single day at his easel.

Following Grant’s death in 1978 and her parents’ subsequent divorce, Paul Roche found solace in the artist’s paintings that adorned his walls in Mallorca. These works—depicting Roche reading, writing, and washing his feet—remained daily reminders of a lifelong devotion that defied conventional categorization.