Remembrance Tree Lighting Honors Loved Ones in Greenwich

For hundreds of families in Greenwich, the holiday season begins not with a shopping list, but with a quiet, solemn return to St. Mary-Putnam Cemetery.

On Thursday, December 3, the Diocese of Bridgeport will host its fifth annual Tree of Remembrance lighting, a ceremony that has evolved from a simple gesture of comfort into a significant communal tradition for those navigating the absence of a loved one.

The event, held from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. at 399 North Street, invites the public to gather for a blessing, music, and a shared space for reflection. While the cemetery grounds are often associated with finality, the organizers frame this evening as an intersection of grief and resilience.

According to the Diocese of Bridgeport, the initiative aims to provide a tangible way for families to process loss during a season that often intensifies the feeling of empty chairs at the table.

The tradition began in 2021 when Carla Pereira donated the tree following the death of her husband, Dino. Since then, the event has grown to draw several hundred attendees annually, regardless of their religious affiliation or whether their loved ones are interred at this specific location.

The tree, situated opposite the mausoleum, will be open to the public starting Tuesday, December 1, and will remain illuminated throughout the remainder of the holiday season.

For those attending the lighting, the act of placing an ornament serves as the central focus of the evening. Families may bring their own decorations or select a complimentary ornament provided by the cemetery. For those unable to attend the ceremony, the cemetery office at 35 Parsonage Road has been accepting ornaments since November, ensuring that every name can be represented.

“This is a great way to bring our Greenwich families together before the rush of the holidays to remember their loved ones who have passed by creating and hanging an ornament on the tree in their honor and saying some prayers for them along with hundreds of people who attend this event each year, said Kenn Devane, who is in charge of cemetery relations.”

While the logistical details are straightforward, the psychological impact of the event is what the staff at St. Mary-Putnam emphasizes. Jenine Berardesca, a Family Advisor who conceived of the project, said that the emotional response from the community has been both profound and unexpected. While the team anticipated tears, they were surprised by the genuine joy that emerges when people find themselves surrounded by others sharing the same experience.

In a clinical or social sense, the value of such public rituals is well-documented. Grief experts often suggest that creating “continuing bonds”—the practice of maintaining a connection to the deceased through symbols and memory—can be a vital component of the healing process. By moving the act of remembrance out of the private sphere and into a communal setting, the diocese provides a structured environment for this expression.

“Coming together in this sacred place to hang an ornament on a blessed tree in memory of someone we dearly loved and lost is a healing and life-affirming experience, said Carolyn Killian, director of bereavement. Each year I look forward to this beautiful event. The energy is so positive and uplifting. A few hundred people come together on a December night in a cemetery, and we are somehow lifted up.”

The decision to keep the tree on display throughout the season serves a practical purpose for those who find the holidays particularly difficult. It provides a destination for quiet, individual visits when the bustle of late December becomes overwhelming. By offering this, the cemetery functions less as a place of closure and more as a place of ongoing support for the community.

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As the December 3 ceremony approaches, the staff continues to finalize preparations to ensure the site remains accessible and welcoming. For a community that often prioritizes rapid pace and productivity, the existence of this event stands as a stark, necessary counter-narrative. It is a reminder that for many, the holiday season requires space for silence as much as it requires space for celebration.